Twenty-Seven

It was the age I confidently answered with with the whole "if you could be any age forever..." It's the age I thought I'd have everything together. More specifically I thought I'd be married for 2 years by now expecting my first child. Now when I think of that, it's almost hilarious. 

26 was probably the most uncertain year thus far. It was uncertain, it was brave and courageous, it was ferociously independent, gut wrenching, triumphant. There were trials and tribulations and revelations. There was a whole LOT of soul searching. And at the very end of it, I think I managed to figure a few things out. 

I can admit that I'm guilty of thinking I'll be happier or better once I reach my end goal. That if I can just get to this place that it will somehow solve all of my problems, that things would be better. That once I move to New York my dreams will come true...that once I turn 27 I'll have it all figured out... etc. I can honestly say that at this exact point in my life, I'm happy. I'm happy with where I am, with what I have, and with where I'm headed; and I know that this is something I am going to have to consistently put effort in to and work on. 

I'm interested to see how this year and especially how these next few months will unravel. 

To me it's the start of a journey; the precipice of what my life will be.

Why I Love New York

Life has been a whirlwind lately so I apologize for my lack of posts. Weeks like this past one definitely makes me miss Hawaii, the people, my support system, my boyfriend, my babies, the FOOD, along with so many other things. But instead of complaining about not being there, I'm going to revisit why I love New York.

I love the change in seasons. I love ice skating in Central Park, and drinking hot chocolate. I love the Brooklyn Bridge Park even though everyone else considers it cliche. I love how driven everyone is here, how they keep pushing forward and never settle. I love my neighborhood and my 12 block walk home from the train station. I love brunch in Soho, and wandering around the West Village. I love cute, photogenic, amazingly good coffee, coffee shops. I also love Starbucks and that the one by where I work knows my name and has my order ready by the time I pay. I love the fast pace. I love how people are always in a rush even though sometimes they legitimately don't need to be. I love how I can be productive on my commutes. I love how when I get out of work late and catch an Uber home, I get to see the city from a car and it gives me the feeling as if it's the first I've ever seen it. I love that even though you've been to a place so many times you can always get a different perspective on it.  I love how you can completely and utterly be yourself here and it's accepted; that you own who you are instead of trying to conform. I love the city, yet always find myself ending up in Central Park. I love the immensity of things here. I love the view of the Empire State Building during sunset when the city lights first turn on. 

I love that those who love NYC love it for different reasons. I love that New York is blunt; it isn't nice, but it gives you exactly what you need and will make you be a better person for that.

2015

It has been quite the year. 

A year ago, I was in Hawaii with my family, friends, boyfriend, and babies. My life had been relatively the same for 3 years and I knew that I needed change. 

2015 was the year I finally took a leap of faith. The year I went running towards my dreams of moving across the country. 

It was the year I packed my life in to 3 suitcases; a decision that has been one of the hardest, yet it was something that was needed. It's been a year filled with consistently pursuing my dreams as well as trying to figuring out who I am, and what I want in life. 

So here I am. In New York City, with an apartment, well paid job, and a city that satisfies my photography needs. I got everything I wanted, and yet there are some things I miss so much that it hurts. 

2016 will be huge in defining my life and where it's headed. It's hard to set resolutions this year, when I don't necessarily know what I want. All I know is that I want to be at peace with my decisions, to go on adventures, to not just live, but to be alive, and to be happy regardless of what it looks like to others.